#BrookeUnbroken

I've never been one to make resolutions.  Maybe because I knew I'd never actually follow through.  Today we begin a new year and after reading something someone wrote a few days ago it's had me thinking.  Not to mention when you've been searching for days for a self help book and the only one that really sparks your interest is "Fuck Feelings"! I don't think they write a self help book for people like me.  I guess my search for a therapist will continue.  God bless their soul! I consider myself a pretty private person when it comes to myself.  I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Wear a fake smile well.  I've been struggling with some things in my personal life for the past six months but especially within the past week. I've been absolutely, 100% broken! My health has not been well.  My mental state even worse. I've always been one of those people who just plain out tells it like it is.  Not to intentionally hurt anyone...

It's been a while since I have blogged....and this blog started out as a Facebook post however I felt the need to take it further. I heard something today....and that something has kept my soul stirring all day.  It has simply disgusted me. It has lit every internal flame I have inside.  Pondering on to keep quiet, or blow it out of the water.  And it isn't something that was directed to me, yet indirectly to me, my fiancé, my daughter...but more importantly two innocent children.  Without being too specific...I offer thought on the subject as a whole in hopes that as a parent you sit your child down and speak with them on the topic and teach them what the word respect is all about. I do not force my lifestyle on anyone.  I don't even ask you to accept it. But what I do demand is for you to respect it.  And with that being said I demand respect for my family and my friends.  Anyone that knows me knows what I stand for.  I w...

This week I was faced with a situation where my past was brought up in hopes of intentionally hurting me to my core.  This particular person tried to remain anonymous, but little does he know I called him out within hours.  He doesn't know I know it's him, because he cowardly tried to hide from his actions.  It's sad to think that after almost 20 years all he can do is sit around and try and sabotage who I am and what I have built.  Sure I have plenty of ways to contact him, but don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he struck an emotion, or two for that matter.  Keeping quiet is not something that comes easily for me.  My biggest pet peeve is to be disrespected.  Not only was I disrespected in the highest of regards, but now I am faced with having to swallow it.  There's multiple reasons I am "forced".  Reasons I won't divulge for mainly my own sake...well and I guess for the sake of not going public with a name....

They say life is a roller coaster. Whoever "they" is, is absolutely correct. We all have our ups and downs, some have more than others. Lately, I am one of the "some" of that statement. It seems I go through times in my life where nothing seems to go my way. If I try and look for the "why" to that sentence all that I can come up with is Karma is doing her work. In an effort to try and get out of this funk I am in, I decided to sit and put my thoughts on paper. So here are my thoughts...in virtual form. I'm not a perfect person. I've made a lot of mistakes, done a lot of wrong, and made a lot of bad decisions along the way. If I could go back and fix them I most certainly would, and in a heartbeat. But simple fact is there's not a damn thing I can do to fix it now. All I can do is accept what I did, say my peace about it. Undoubtedly I will make more in my future. So yes...Karma has a lot to work with here. I am a pretty simplistic pers...