Don't judge me for my past...I don't live there anymore!!

This week I was faced with a situation where my past was brought up in hopes of intentionally hurting me to my core.  This particular person tried to remain anonymous, but little does he know I called him out within hours.  He doesn't know I know it's him, because he cowardly tried to hide from his actions.  It's sad to think that after almost 20 years all he can do is sit around and try and sabotage who I am and what I have built.  Sure I have plenty of ways to contact him, but don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he struck an emotion, or two for that matter. 

Keeping quiet is not something that comes easily for me.  My biggest pet peeve is to be disrespected.  Not only was I disrespected in the highest of regards, but now I am faced with having to swallow it.  There's multiple reasons I am "forced".  Reasons I won't divulge for mainly my own sake...well and I guess for the sake of not going public with a name. I am one that doesn't get even, I get evil.  And in this case I can't do either.  

A few days have passed, the tears have stopped flowing, and my anger has calmed down. I have had the time to reflect on what happened.  All in all my pride was shattered, and a lil piece of my heart was too. Not because he hurt me. I could care less of his thoughts or opinion of me. It was being reminded of the disappointment I caused, and continue to cause in that bad decision.  That alone was enough to shake my soul.

Everyone has a past.  Everyone has skeletons.  Everyone has done things they wish they hadn't done in life.  No one likes to make mistakes.  No one is perfect (especially the above mentioned individual).  Every day we are faced with decisions.  Sometimes we make the right ones, sometimes we make the wrong ones.  What I may believe to be right, you may believe to be wrong.  But as individuals we have the right to make choices for ourselves, and pave the path for our lives and it's direction.  Granted, those decisions may determine what happens come tomorrow, but the choice is still ours to make. 

I've never claimed to be a perfect person nor do I know of one.  In fact I give myself less credit than anyone else.  My past is dotted with mistakes. They have ruined many opportunity, and I am sure will continue to do so in the future.  I can't change yesterday but I've tried to right every wrong I have made. My past made me the person I am today but it doesn't define who I am now.  I am a changed person.  Maybe not all for the better, but for the most part, and continue to better those parts that are still in need.  While I'll never be able to run from my past....from now on when my past calls, I intend on not answering.  There's nothing left to say. 

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