Simply disgusted...
It's been a while since I have blogged....and this blog started out as a Facebook post however I felt the need to take it further.
I heard something today....and that something has kept my soul stirring all day. It has simply disgusted me. It has lit every internal flame I have inside. Pondering on to keep quiet, or blow it out of the water. And it isn't something that was directed to me, yet indirectly to me, my fiancé, my daughter...but more importantly two innocent children. Without being too specific...I offer thought on the subject as a whole in hopes that as a parent you sit your child down and speak with them on the topic and teach them what the word respect is all about.
I do not force my lifestyle on anyone. I don't even ask you to accept it. But what I do demand is for you to respect it. And with that being said I demand respect for my family and my friends. Anyone that knows me knows what I stand for. I will not tolerate anything less than respect....Not from an adult....and damn sure not from a child.
It has been brought to my attention that the word lesbian is being used by children that my daughter is associated with in a negative manner. Words like geek....dork...nerd are now being replaced with the word fag...gay...lesbian. Two young girls, who are friends, who do what girls do...hang out...text...enjoy the same extra curricular activities...teased by their peers and called lesbians. Two young girls who know nothing about the fact that the word is sexually oriented and at that age should not know. While they are directly attacked, my daughter sits and listens and knows that they are not only attacking two of her close friends, but are also indirectly attacking her mothers at the same time. And who comes home and confides in one of those mothers....because she knows the other will blow the roof off the damn building if she finds out.
Guess what...the roof is about to blow!!!! I know kids can be cruel. My kid has been the victim of being picked on more than once, and am even sure she has participated at some point. That does not excuse the fact of what is going on. While I did not hear it with my own ears, I know without a doubt, that my daughter would not make this up, especially being how sensitive she is to the subject, and the fact that she did not tell me.
Parents....it's time to stop being naïve about what your kids are doing when you back is turned. I think some would be real surprised if you knew the truth about what your kids do, how they act, and in this case what is being said by who! While I understand as a parent we cannot control our children when we are not around, but what we can do is control them when we are, and teach them how to act when outside our presence, and take the appropriate action when it's needed.
First and foremost the word lesbian is not a negative word and should no way be used in such a way. Ask your child if they know what the word means, and educate them if they do not. Secondly, teach them to respect the people around them, and to watch what they say in the presence of others. Third, there will be a day when they are the victim of being picked on. Or they may have already been there. While you are consoling them and drying their tears, remind them of how it feels in hopes of keeping them from doing it to someone else.
I'm lucky in the fact that my daughter is strong enough to stand up for what she has been taught. She has been taught the meaning of respect. She has been taught that you accept people for who they are. She has been taught that it is OK for her mother to love a woman. She sees the love in our home. She receives the love in our home. She has no problem with the love that surrounds her. She is smart enough to educate those around her that have the decency to ask when they have questions. And she is strong willed enough to stand up for her friends, her mothers and herself when she hears otherwise.
What she has not been taught is the sexual meaning of the word. She has not been taught that it is a negative word. She has not been taught to call her friends names. She has not been taught to be disrespectful nor has she been taught to be mean.
I can say that I am once again proud of the young woman she is growing into. Her levelheadedness and maturity continues to amaze me...even when I am not looking. In all the mistakes I have made along the way...I have done something right!!
And to the two moms who are left with two heart broken children....as you continue to wipe their tears, reassure them that their friendship is normal, and continue to fight for the answer in how to handle the situation....please know my heart is with you, and I am sorry for what you are having to deal with. I offer you my friendship, as does my daughter to yours.
I close with this...unfortunately we live in a world of ignorance. If you do not teach your children to respect people...I have no problem doing it for you.
I heard something today....and that something has kept my soul stirring all day. It has simply disgusted me. It has lit every internal flame I have inside. Pondering on to keep quiet, or blow it out of the water. And it isn't something that was directed to me, yet indirectly to me, my fiancé, my daughter...but more importantly two innocent children. Without being too specific...I offer thought on the subject as a whole in hopes that as a parent you sit your child down and speak with them on the topic and teach them what the word respect is all about.
I do not force my lifestyle on anyone. I don't even ask you to accept it. But what I do demand is for you to respect it. And with that being said I demand respect for my family and my friends. Anyone that knows me knows what I stand for. I will not tolerate anything less than respect....Not from an adult....and damn sure not from a child.
It has been brought to my attention that the word lesbian is being used by children that my daughter is associated with in a negative manner. Words like geek....dork...nerd are now being replaced with the word fag...gay...lesbian. Two young girls, who are friends, who do what girls do...hang out...text...enjoy the same extra curricular activities...teased by their peers and called lesbians. Two young girls who know nothing about the fact that the word is sexually oriented and at that age should not know. While they are directly attacked, my daughter sits and listens and knows that they are not only attacking two of her close friends, but are also indirectly attacking her mothers at the same time. And who comes home and confides in one of those mothers....because she knows the other will blow the roof off the damn building if she finds out.
Guess what...the roof is about to blow!!!! I know kids can be cruel. My kid has been the victim of being picked on more than once, and am even sure she has participated at some point. That does not excuse the fact of what is going on. While I did not hear it with my own ears, I know without a doubt, that my daughter would not make this up, especially being how sensitive she is to the subject, and the fact that she did not tell me.
Parents....it's time to stop being naïve about what your kids are doing when you back is turned. I think some would be real surprised if you knew the truth about what your kids do, how they act, and in this case what is being said by who! While I understand as a parent we cannot control our children when we are not around, but what we can do is control them when we are, and teach them how to act when outside our presence, and take the appropriate action when it's needed.
First and foremost the word lesbian is not a negative word and should no way be used in such a way. Ask your child if they know what the word means, and educate them if they do not. Secondly, teach them to respect the people around them, and to watch what they say in the presence of others. Third, there will be a day when they are the victim of being picked on. Or they may have already been there. While you are consoling them and drying their tears, remind them of how it feels in hopes of keeping them from doing it to someone else.
I'm lucky in the fact that my daughter is strong enough to stand up for what she has been taught. She has been taught the meaning of respect. She has been taught that you accept people for who they are. She has been taught that it is OK for her mother to love a woman. She sees the love in our home. She receives the love in our home. She has no problem with the love that surrounds her. She is smart enough to educate those around her that have the decency to ask when they have questions. And she is strong willed enough to stand up for her friends, her mothers and herself when she hears otherwise.
What she has not been taught is the sexual meaning of the word. She has not been taught that it is a negative word. She has not been taught to call her friends names. She has not been taught to be disrespectful nor has she been taught to be mean.
I can say that I am once again proud of the young woman she is growing into. Her levelheadedness and maturity continues to amaze me...even when I am not looking. In all the mistakes I have made along the way...I have done something right!!
And to the two moms who are left with two heart broken children....as you continue to wipe their tears, reassure them that their friendship is normal, and continue to fight for the answer in how to handle the situation....please know my heart is with you, and I am sorry for what you are having to deal with. I offer you my friendship, as does my daughter to yours.
I close with this...unfortunately we live in a world of ignorance. If you do not teach your children to respect people...I have no problem doing it for you.
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